CALM AFTER THE STORM

With my whole day of lectures and seminar cancelled due to INSANE weather conditions, I decided to wander around the park in Epsom today with my new camera and my new cape (blog post coming later on that gem). Probably looked a bit like the kidnapper in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in all black errthang with a cape and a camera. But let’s not dwell on my suspiciously weirdo-like attire and focus on the main point of why I was strolling trekking through my local park. Because of the ridiculous and rather obnoxious storms of yesterday, I was unable to go out and take photos of the Autumnal scenery of Epsom. Okay, I’m making it sound a lot more fluffy that it is. It’s a park with some trees and a pond and ducks, K? K.

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SHAPEWEAR FOR MEN?

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So yesterday, whilst I was being all cultured and intellectual, I was reading The Times and I came across an article on Funkybod;  shape-wear for men. When I first saw it I sniggered thinking “that is the most vain and ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen”; but then I looked down at my own padded bra and across the room to my optical illusion dress and my mind wondered to the millions of pairs of Spanx that are bought by women all over the world every year. Oh. I carried on reading with intrigue and realised that whilst the common notion from women is that the media over-sexualises us, we are our own worst enemies. We create the hype ourselves.

The craze for men wearing makeup, straightening their hair, using self tan and getting botox leaves most women (and other men) with the impression that such an individual “must be gay” or that he’s as vain as Kelly Brook’s Instagram page. But aren’t all these things women use on a regular basis? Some of which, women see as a necessity; an integral part of their daily life.

So why is it so different for men? We’re all programmed to believe that women are supposed to stay ageless, a size 8 and always effortless while men can pretty much do what they want (without becoming slobbish). Funkybod produces tops for men that are “designed to give the appearance and feel of muscle size and definition.” Now when I first saw the photo of the poor volunteer I definitely though that surely that’s just a serious case of false representation? And then I googled Spanx…

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… And padded bras…

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… And optical illusion dresses…

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Okay, who did I think I was? Besides the Spanx, I own every piece of body-sculpting, bust-boosting, leg-lengthening product available on the market. Why shouldn’t men be able to do the same?

The idea seems ridiculous, but why should women be able to deceive men of their looks and it not be allowed to be reciprocated? Having said all this, I’m not quite sure how I would feel if my (imaginary) boyfriend went around with foam-induced pecs and biceps. But each to his/her own.

www.funkybod.com